Tipping

From Reservoir Dogs via Generational Terrorists:

NICE GUY EDDIE: Okay, everybody cough up green for the little lady.
NICE GUY EDDIE: C'mon, throw in a buck.

MR. WHITE: Uh-uh. I don't tip.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Whaddaya mean you don't tip?

MR. WHITE: I don't believe in it.

NICE GUY EDDIE: You don't believe in tipping?

MR. PINK: I love this kid, he's a madman, this guy.

MR. BLONDE: Do you have any idea what these ladies make? They make shit.

MR. WHITE: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.

NICE GUY EDDIE: I don't even know a Jew who'd have the balls to say that. So let's get this straight. You never ever tip?

MR. WHITE: I don't tip because society says I gotta. I tip when somebody deserves a tip. When somebody really puts forth an effort, they deserve a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, that shit's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doin their job.

MR. BLUE: Our girl was nice.

MR. WHITE: Our girl was okay. She didn't do anything special.

MR. BLONDE: What's something special, take ya in the kitchen and suck your dick?

NICE GUY EDDIE: I'd go over twelve percent for that.

MR. WHITE Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long fuckin time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.

MR. BLONDE: What if she's too busy?

MR. WHITE: The words "too busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last thing you need is another cup of coffee.

MR. WHITE: These ladies aren't starvin to death. They make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Ahh, now we're getting down to it. It's not just that he's a cheap bastard--

MR. ORANGE: --It is that too--

NICE GUY EDDIE: --It is that too. But it's also he couldn't get a waiter job. You talk like a pissed off dishwasher: "Fuck those cunts and their fucking tips."

MR. BLONDE: So you don't care that they're counting on your tip to live?

MR. WHITE: Do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin, playing just for the waitresses.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MR. BLONDE: You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
MR. WHITE: So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them. They're servin ya food, you should tip em. But no, society says tip these guys over here, but not those guys over there. That's bullshit.

MR. ORANGE: They work harder than the kids at McDonald's.

MR. WHITE: Oh yeah, I don't see them cleaning fryers.

MR. BROWN: These people are taxed on the tips they make. When you stiff 'em, you cost them money.

MR. BLONDE: Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one jab basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of tips.

MR. WHITE: Fuck all that. Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's fucked up. But that ain't my fault. it would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non- college bullshit you're telling me, I got two words for that: "Learn to fuckin type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big fuckin surprise.

MR. ORANGE: He's convinced me. Give me my dollar back.

JOE: Okay ramblers, let's get to rambling. Wait a minute, who didn't throw in?

MR. ORANGE: Mr. White.

JOE: Mr. White? Why?

MR. ORANGE: He don't tip.

JOE: He don't tip? You don't tip? Why?

MR. ORANGE: He don't believe in it.

JOE: He don't believe in it? You don't believe in it?

MR. ORANGE: Nope.

JOE: Shut up! Cough up the buck, ya cheap bastard, I paid for your goddamn breakfast.

MR. WHITE: Because you paid for the breakfast, I'm gonna tip. Normally I wouldn't.

JOE: Whatever. Just throw in your dollar, and let's move. See what I'm dealing with here. Infants. I'm fuckin dealin with infants.

Posted by Fungii at May 13, 2003 11:03 PM |